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Late night thoughts - Colleen Pilkenton

- this is nice I'll be asleep soon

- wonder what we will have for tea tomorrow afternoon

- why did I have to say those words to him I bet he thinks I'm insane?

- does anyone actually think I'm important my mind has the shadow of doubt ingrained?

- which way is the fastest way to go ?

- how can I make it quick and hurt no-one else in the process on show

Let me just say I don't want to kill myself.

I know there's help out there for ones self,

but I feel as though I'm a burden to everyone

all I do is fuck up and cause chaos

I just want it to done.

No-one will remember me.

Every day, I am the one that has to say hey or how are you. I'm here when people need me.

My anxiety is like a ghost who possesses my body and I'll never be free.

I'm trying everyday when I wake up. Get up and plaster a smile on and pretend that one day everything will be alright.

Even when I'm lying when I say that I hope that it will.

Some nights there's not much more of me that wants to fight

I feel deaths hug and it seems so warm and calm.

The intensity of life makes me not want to go on.

But here I go as the tears roll down my face

I'll drift off to sleep and in my dreams that's where I'll be in my happy place

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