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The Battle (Irregular Heartbeat) - Ires

When you've been through battle,

And you've come out the other side,

You leave different than when

You arrived.

The scars, the pain, the violence,

Keep replaying inside your brain,

Like bullets, ricocheting against

The barricades of your mind.

You struggle to stay sane.

A wound so deep,

You wonder if it will ever stop bleeding

Yet your heart's still beating

Though the beat is different now.

Scars make you weary,

But they also make you wiser.

The battle fought, but the war

Rages on

A different war, war against everything

And everyone

Learning to live with the pain

This irregular heartbeat that results

From someone pummeling it

Slitting your chest open

And ripping it out, then

Squeezing it between their fingers

As they watched the blood drip down,

As they watched you gasp for air.

And still, here you are.

Irregular heartbeat, but it's

Beating, nonetheless.

Those who will try to reach for it now,

Will find it unreachable.

It is your life, your heart,

And you will protect it,

No matter the cost. 

The battle may be over,

But the war rages on.


"My poems are about my struggle with depression and anxiety, as well as grief and loss. This poem is about wanting to protect my heart after surviving the hardest situation I've ever been through; the infidelity of my husband while we were still technically newlyweds"

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