"My mind is full of activity. Day and night it does not shut up. It sparks at times, it creates noise. It constantly works on something. It operates in two languages and I feel like having two people shouting over each other inside my skull. My thoughts and the activity of my mind physically assaults my brain leaving it bruised. When overloaded it stubs sharply to the point of me cringing. The ruptures are invisible to you passing by. I often hide the pain behind the mask of sarcasm or cover it up with the well-known short temper of mine. Imponderable, difficult to be assessed as so subjective, but real to me. I live with them on daily basis and this piece tries to depict it a bit.
I have lived with depression since my teenage years. Submerging in shadows frequently, sometimes shallow enough but at times I fall into the abyss. I recently gave birth and had complications. Although my baby and I are now fine physically, I fell into postnatal depression and was trapped there for many months. The return to work became torture and a final blow. I have a difficulty separating from my baby and coming to terms with seeing her only 2hrs a day. I had a massive breakdown.
I was directed to attend art therapy and rediscovered my creativity. It started to help. And now, months later, I obsessively paint and draw to enable myself to float. I am not perfect but I am better now"
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