My Heart Is A Storm


Alice Murray

 

"I suffer from Complex PTSD and my art is a form of therapy that allows me a release of negative emotions and traumatic experiences. I use paint and canvas as a medium for expressing the emotions that I have been repressing throughout my life due to difficulties that I have been experiencing, that caused me to develop complex trauma.


When I finish an artwork it always feels as if something very heavy was lifted from my shoulders. When I paint I think about how bad I feel, I think about the painful experiences that I have been through. These emotions and traumas are now a great inspiration to me.


One day I decided to embrace my mental illness and try to make something beautiful out of my pain, hoping that one day I will resolve my trauma and emotional imbalance through painting. In my paintings You can notice a lot of chaos and whirlwinds that represent an anxiety spiral, as my therapist calls it - that I see with my own eyes whenever I experience flashbacks.


I also struggle with social anxiety which does not allow me to go out feeling safe. I am trying to embrace my disability into an ability to create hoping that one day I can recover thanks to artistic expression. Even if I can't go out, I can stay in and make something beautiful instead on focusing on how bad it is to not be able to go out. Since I think this way I started feeling a little bit more comfortable going outside and my self esteem is improving the more art I make.


When I feel sad- I paint sadness

When I feel angry- I paint anger

When I feel loved- I paint Love

When I feel joy- I paint Joy


I think positive emotions are very important to be appreciated when we struggle with mental health because just this shift in focus can really make a difference to our mental health. To me art is a cure, that one day will help me come back to my natural, healthy state of being. This is what I hope to inspire in others through my work."


See more of Alice's work on Instagram.

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