I don't know how many times I have to tried to reach you,
To say what I feel and for you to hear it,
I don't know how many times I begged for forgiveness,
kneeling at your feet with a pain in my heart…
I don't know how many times I have left you feeling worthless,
but I am guessing it is far from a few and more like a lot…
I don't know how many times I have looked at you intensely and thought to myself,
you are just not enough.
I don't know how many times I have sat on my own,
reminding myself of how much you have done for me,
To just turn right around and hurt you again.
I don't know how many times I have left you feeling useless, defeated, unwanted and feeling alone…
With no one to turn to and nowhere to go.
I want to apologise for treating you badly,
I want to say it is the last time and I want this to change,
I want you to know that I love you deeply and I know you have carried me all of this way....
I am sorry I thought of you,
as ugly and ageing, wasting and weak,
unattractive and ready
for the scrap heap…
As I take a deep breath,
I look into the mirror, I am ready to start loving you the way you
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