What is Depression?
Waking up tired after 10 hours asleep
Then spending an hour sat on the side of the bed in the dark trying to motivate yourself to shower, eventually deciding a wash and brush of the teeth will have to do cos you've ran out of time.
Getting ready for work, using all your energy at work, doing the best you can, smiling and going above and beyond in all you do. That is until the work day ends and it's family time.
Family time when you can take off the mask and be your grumpy old self, the patience you've shown all day to 30 odd kids, nowhere to be seen. Trying to form a conversation is impossible and the daily task of cooking 2 or 3 different meals is just too much.
Finally the time has come when it is acceptable to go to bed, though on what planet is 7:30 an acceptable bedtime for a mother of 4 to end her day.
Another day that begins with no energy and with every passing hour, your energy levels are in the minus numbers.
Another day with limbs that feel like they're made of solid lead.
Another day fighting with yourself over every little thing.
Another day snapping at loved ones or holding it all in till it’s too much and none stop crying ensues.
Eventually all these days blur into one
On the very worst days getting out of bed in the first place is impossible and that day just needs writing off.
Depression affects everyone differently but this is how it affects me.
"I have always suffered with depression, as far back as I remember. It wasn't until I was 21 when I was diagnosed and it brought everything into focus for me; suddenly I knew why I'd felt the way I had for so long.
Quite a few years later I discovered writing poetry helped me understand why I felt the way I did and gave me an outlet for my confusing emotions whilst working through them."